7/30/2007: Psalm 31:24

So today was the 3^rd visit with my beloved Dr. My hope was that it was going to be my 3^rd and final visit with him, not b/c I don’t adore the man, b/c I do do do, but because after 45 days of stress and struggle I am ready to be done with Righty. I want Righty to go back to being ‘anonymous right ankle’ with no special needs or handle with care instructions. But hope can be a dangerous thing.

So, I spent the week-end trying to level set my expectations, to base them on data instead of desire. I ran, I juggled, I dribbled, I grape vined, I stretched, I iced, I prayed. I gathered a wealth of data about Righty in hopes that when aggregated and presented to the Dr. he would have no other choice than to declare me cleared to play in this week-end. In the end however, I knew that after he had heard me out and listened patiently to all my proof he would ask me what I thought. Would I clear myself to play if I were him? As Clark put it “what does that gut of yours tell you?”

My gut says ‘play your heart out’ and then it says ‘you have way more to lose than you do to gain’. My gut says ‘you’ve played more banged up than this before’ and then it chuckles and says “when you were 18’. My gut says ‘go, have fun, play your game’ and then it says ‘hiking in Alaska is going to be hard in that boot.’ My gut is worthless. Thankfully, I have my beloved Dr.

I have promised several of you, you who pushed me to make such a promise, that I would not play if the Dr. didn’t clear me. That I would resign myself to his authority and I would skip the tournament no questions asked. I wouldn’t argue or bargain or fudge the facts to try to sway his decision. I would just accept it and move right along to my next goal, Army 10 miler anyone?

Fortunately, I don’t have to keep that promise. I was cleared to play this week-end. It isn’t a risk free situation but as my beloved Dr. said “Your strength and stability is solid and I’m not pushing the envelope to clear you to play but you are one hard tackle away from the sidelines.” I nodded. I understand this.

Yeah, hope can be a dangerous thing unless you place it in the right hands. My hope is now my joy. Thank you guys for all the prayers. . . . and keep ‘em coming ; )