7/03/07 - Measure Twice, Cut Once

So after over two weeks of hobbling around on crutches with a very conspicuous black boot on my leg I have noticed an interesting trend, when people encounter someone visibly broken, within seconds they are sharing their stories of brokenness. I don’t ever ask “Hey so have you, or anyone you know, ever been busted up? Wanna tell me all about it?” Which is not to say that I mind the stories, I just find it an interesting sociological phenom that virtual strangers are so forthcoming and sometimes with really horrific stories. Mind you not all the stories are from strangers. Some are from friends who are empathizing and entertaining me. Which I thoroughly appreciate and enjoy.

The stories fall into 3 categories: water related injuries, kickball related injuries, ankle/lower leg related injuries. This is 100% true if you forget the story about my co-workers kid who broke his elbow. And the totally random custodian who interrupted my morning bagel the other day by sweeping up to me and blurting out “so are you on Vicodin?” And to be honest, I’m totally willing to forget about both of those. I find it rather astounding how many people have a water, kickball, and/or ankle related injury? However, so far, I haven’t met anyone else who has a three in one, the trifecta if you will. I like to break the mold, dare to be different.

I was thinking that I would share some of the stories with you but even the funny ones end with someone being pretty damaged and that sort of saps the humor out it. And a lot of them are about random strangers and I don’t know what the protocol is for putting someone else’s story on the internet without their permission. It might be some sort of copyright infringement/privacy violation infraction. Well ok, I’ll tell you the one that, minus the injury, is funny and made me go hmmm . . .

John (names have been changed to protect the innocent. Ok not really, I don’t know his name so I can’t change it, its just made up. The story is about the uncle of the guy who told me the story) was pledging a fraternity (see already you feel less bad about the fact that you know the story ends with him hurt) and therefore he was being hazed. One night he was blindfolded and marched out to top of a building. He was told that he was standing at the edge and that all his soon to be ‘if only he could prove himself worthy’ brothers were down below ready to catch him. All he had to do was jump. Well completely empty his head of all logical thought and then jump. So jump he did. And since he was told he was atop a building that is how he jumped, as if leaping from a great height. In reality he was standing on a platform raised off the ground about 8 inches. When he came down he snapped his ankles. So, jumping into 2 feet of water when the body expects 5 feet and falling 8 inches to the ground when the body expects 2 stories apparently does approximately the same thing to ankles.

Moral of the story, try to give your body accurate data about what its about to have to brace for and you might walk away from moronic decisions with in tact ankles.